Morning in America Stew

Ingredients:

1 NY Times editorial
1 comedy sketch of indeterminate realism
1 foreign poll
1 domestic poll

Bring a large saucepan to temperature over medium heat.

Skim comedy sketch of actual performance; discard, keeping only audience reaction. If audience reaction is staged, discard. If audience reaction is not staged, add to saucepan. (Do you really think it didn't, or couldn't, happen?)

Add meat and trimmings from editorial. Ladle in juice from both polls. Stir. Simmer until gloomy about your nation's future.

Serves 6 to 360 million, hot or cold, rightly or wrongly.